Arsip.

These times are like a long long long holiday. People are stuck inside their houses. Me, a homebody, are sparked with plans. Paint, write, read novels, learn a new song, journal, scrapbook, plant veggies, bake cakes, there's a lot more to my bucket list. Things that I'd like to do by myself, to make myself happy. Looks like having a time for myself is quite hard at home. Been so many months and my bucket list is still unchecked well. I keep on thinking about other people and how I can be there every time. What if someone needed my help when I am all by myself painting? Who else will be that one-call-away buddy? When I am having a time for myself, I miss a lot of chance to be helpful and useful, and I feel guilty for that. These thoughts set distance from my time for myself. More dangerously, they put me into "available" mode almost all the time: sitting by my phone or something else less "time for myself" to be one-call-away. Sometimes I just want to go away...

It's a big day, I bet this day is going to be tiring. The sun is still littly peeking through a row of windows, creating some dramatic diagonal light pillars. After we had breakfast, I head to the place where I will be owned by the next couple of hours: a big tall bookcase, covering the whole wall in one side of the living room. Mom is in charge of the kitchen and the fridge, dad is out there with the plants, big sis is with a mountain of laundry, and lil bro is surrounded by pets waste. The pets? Well, I hope they don't mess up. A bookcase might sounds pretty "meh" compared to the other tasks, but this particular bookcase is no joke. Everything is mixed here: books (of course), photo albums, tons of notebooks, old CDs, old cassettes, electronic devices (broken and not), rarely used kitchenware, stationeries, board games, toys from when we are babies, until stacks of old blankets and curtains. Complete chaos. My specialty is to deal with them until the bookcase is at ...

Jangan mengumpat padaku. Biar aku saja yang mengumpat padaku mewakilkan keinginanmu. Lagipula aku pantas mendapatkannya.