Arsip.

This post can be edited in the future, depending on how I see this issue through times. These last few weeks I met several people who helped me remind a perspective I should've known before. A perspective so important yet buried well inside my mind. It started with the thoughts I had on bright people who work in great communities, or organizations, or groups, I might say. Spreading good messages that I had always liked along the scroll, sharing great insights from slide to slide. Seeing people work on, or even lead, an abundant of projects with abundant volunteers always amazes me. They always look so firm with their principals and what they want to do. I see them as people who are a good example for me to look up into. The thing is - people said that people with matching interests tend to gather - why am I not with them? Why am I here, saying yes to all what they say while wandering around, doing something else? I even state frequently that I don't match well with communities ...

50 sounds like a huge deal. You said you like to play safe, but what is safe, from stories about your whole struggle to be in this safe position? You are so silent, yet you endure so many things. How can you endure so many things for 50 years and still be so composed? How can you be so patient, just how vast your dam is? You look so tired everyday, yet you wash dishes and hang clothes to dry, chasing every of our wishes to be served on the table. How can you endure so many things for 50 years and still be so composed? Sometimes I think of how come you don't understand us at times, but I realized that it should be how come I don't understand you yet. Sometimes I wish you are an open book, but I realized that you already are, and I should learn the language beforehand. It may took forever but I promise that I will learn forever. 50 sounds like a huge deal. It feels like, things will change so much in a short time. What am I without all your constant support unsaid? I thank you ev...