Arsip.

Sekali-kali, coba dihadapi dan diterima saja semua kekuranganmu di mata orang lain yang sempat disampaikan kepadamu. Jangan terus menampik dan melindungi diri seolah-olah kamu sudah mengerti apa yang orang lain katakan tentangmu, atau seolah-olah kamu sudah mengerti tentangmu. Iya, kamu mengerti tentangmu. Mungkin orang lain tidak semengerti kamu kalau menyangkut soal kamu. Seperti kata pepatah, jangan suka mengatai orang lain, kamu 'kan tidak tahu apa yang sudah dilalui orang itu , berarti orang lain perlu berpikir seperti itu terhadapmu, 'kan? Pusing-pusing amat, memikirkan seharusnya orang berlaku seperti apa terhadapmu, berkata apa tentangmu. Tapi, yang orang lain katakan tentangmu bisa jadi benar, dan kamu bisa berkaca dari apa yang orang lain katakan tentangmu.  Apa ya, istilahnya? Oh iya. Blind spot . Titik buta. Kamu juga punya, 'kan? Mungkin seseorang akan berkata tentang suatu kekuranganmu yang belum pernah kamu ketahui sebelumnya, kapan dan dimana saja. Bila kamu...

"Hey, please help me with this. It will take some time, I hope it won't bother you." "I want to, but I'm in the middle of my own business. Sorry." "It's okay, take your time." Are you sure you really need to say you're on your own business? They need your help. Doesn't matter they say it explicitly or implicitly, they need your help. Maybe an important and urgent one. And you just gonna toss away? I know you feel guilty and selfish now, right? You can do your own later. Think about it, you will definitely feel sorry and angry to yourself later for 'wasting' your time in this other people's business when yours are abandoned, like, for ever? When are you gonna think about yourself? When you are apart from anyone else? You will never. They are not even forcing you to spare your time for them. This is the chance to take care of yourself. The world doesn't go around everyone that is except you. Let go. Accomplish your goals. ...

Sometimes you lose track of time when you're looking at everyone else's lives. Just like being in the supermarket.  Sometimes you lose track of time when you're in the supermarket. You're looking at the beauty of how things are organized well. You're looking at cute snacks or instant noodles, fancy looking utensils or various sheet masks. You're going through every corridor and every section but that's it. You're not going to buy anything. You're just admiring them. You even forget what you really need to buy. You even forget who you are going to the supermarket with and separate absently. Sometimes you lose track of time when you're looking at everyone else's lives because they are so perfect and beautiful to see. You're going through every person and every stories but that's it. You're not going to take any lessons for yourself to grow. You're just admiring them, and be jealous sometimes, or regretting your choices before. Y...

Bukan, bukan yang ini. Modelnya cocok, tapi kalau warna lain mungkin lebih bagus. Nah, itu dia. Lembayung pastel, cocok untuk warna kulitku. Fitting room dimana ya? Oh, itu dia. *** Baiklah, aku akan beli yang ini. Ketuk palu tiga kali. Senang rasanya bisa beli baju dengan uang sendiri. Sudah tiga bulan aku mulai hidup dengan pemasukan sendiri, apakah aku memang sudah jadi orang dewasa? Dekat fitting room aku melihat seorang wanita yang sudah kukenal lama sekali. Karena sudah beberapa waktu tidak bersua, terlihat perubahan di wajahnya. Tidak, tidak, bukan aku ingin bilang makin tua, tapi makin menawan. Dia sedang melihat-lihat baju juga. Untuk apa, ya? "Tante," aku mendekat. "Tante Erna." Dia menengok, ternyata memang benar dia. Matanya yang semula biasa saja, berubah jadi sangat rumit sekali. Seakan sedang mencerna informasi yang amat banyak hingga tenggelam tapi tidak sampai melamun. "Sas." "Tante apa kabar? Sehat?" *** Akhirnya kita duduk saja...