Arsip.

Melamun di masjid Melihat kosong ke arah langit-langit tinggi, ditambah tidak pakai kacamata, jadi makin tidak bertujuan pandangan ini Sepanjang ibadah wajib tadi sama sekali sulit hanya tertuju pada-Nya, padahal sudah ada di rumah-Nya Isi kepala hanya siaran ulang hal-hal yang selalu ingin dilupa Ingin sekali aku lupa, agar tidak berat menjalani hidup sebagaimana yang orang-orang lain inginkan terhadapku Saking inginnya lupa, selalu ingat agar bisa dilupa setiap saat Masih belum mau pulang, mau melamun di masjid saja Tidak tahu mau dikatai apa kalau melangkah masuk rumah Masih belum mau berubah mode lagi, dari nahkoda bahtera diri menjadi anak yang kurang berbakti Di sini aku bukan anak yang kurang berbakti, hanya hamba pengguna masjid yang sedang mengelola kembali jiwa melalui sejuknya lantai kayu Tapi meskipun di sini, aku tetaplah kurang berbakti karena tidak segera pulang Meskipun nanti saat masuk rumah jadi anak yang kurang berbakti, setidaknya masih ada berbaktinya Harus segera ...

I know you are happy, but how do you have the audacity to say that everything you like I will hate and when I tell you what I am thinking you told me to back off so I won't ruin your happiness? Is that a hypocrisy? Am I too sensitive myself but also inconsiderate?

It is already dark and crews are tidying up the set. She's just finishing a call when he approaches. "Can we have a little chat before you go home?" "Yes sure we can, but why?" *** Five years ago. People kept saying that it's not my fault, but it actually is. I left her, not once, not twice, but thrice. I loved her, so much that it kind of became an obsession. So afraid of losing her, I pulled her, hold her too hard she suffocated. She even constantly helped me get out of my shadows, embraced me, been transparent and honest with me. It was me who refused to be helped. When she left, it was actually me who left her. She even wished for my happiness soon. She even told me that she was sorry for not being the right person for me. And in all that, I was still drowned in my own shadows. I pushed her away just because I thought my so called love hurt her too much. We separated with wounds on her and selfishness on me.  That was the first time I left her. When she ...

 "I knew it. You always being so calm and nodding to all of my sayings. Turns out you talk the other way behind my back." "That's because I always try to figure out how to tell you if something is not right. You won't accept any other opinions except yours the time you tell everybody. You need to settle down after an argument with others just because you are so into your mind, maybe after that I can tell you." "Are you not siding with me? After all these time?" "Why should I be on your side? What do you want, the best solution or people following you around? Here we are not talking about a bunch of simple things, these are whole complex systems! And yet people still need to hear and argue with you? And then agreeing you?" "Well, I'm just trying to speak my mind.." "About what you think is the best, but sometimes it takes more heads to solve a problem, not just you bossing around."  "That's very rude."...

Sekali-kali, coba dihadapi dan diterima saja semua kekuranganmu di mata orang lain yang sempat disampaikan kepadamu. Jangan terus menampik dan melindungi diri seolah-olah kamu sudah mengerti apa yang orang lain katakan tentangmu, atau seolah-olah kamu sudah mengerti tentangmu. Iya, kamu mengerti tentangmu. Mungkin orang lain tidak semengerti kamu kalau menyangkut soal kamu. Seperti kata pepatah, jangan suka mengatai orang lain, kamu 'kan tidak tahu apa yang sudah dilalui orang itu , berarti orang lain perlu berpikir seperti itu terhadapmu, 'kan? Pusing-pusing amat, memikirkan seharusnya orang berlaku seperti apa terhadapmu, berkata apa tentangmu. Tapi, yang orang lain katakan tentangmu bisa jadi benar, dan kamu bisa berkaca dari apa yang orang lain katakan tentangmu.  Apa ya, istilahnya? Oh iya. Blind spot . Titik buta. Kamu juga punya, 'kan? Mungkin seseorang akan berkata tentang suatu kekuranganmu yang belum pernah kamu ketahui sebelumnya, kapan dan dimana saja. Bila kamu...

"Hey, please help me with this. It will take some time, I hope it won't bother you." "I want to, but I'm in the middle of my own business. Sorry." "It's okay, take your time." Are you sure you really need to say you're on your own business? They need your help. Doesn't matter they say it explicitly or implicitly, they need your help. Maybe an important and urgent one. And you just gonna toss away? I know you feel guilty and selfish now, right? You can do your own later. Think about it, you will definitely feel sorry and angry to yourself later for 'wasting' your time in this other people's business when yours are abandoned, like, for ever? When are you gonna think about yourself? When you are apart from anyone else? You will never. They are not even forcing you to spare your time for them. This is the chance to take care of yourself. The world doesn't go around everyone that is except you. Let go. Accomplish your goals. ...

Sometimes you lose track of time when you're looking at everyone else's lives. Just like being in the supermarket.  Sometimes you lose track of time when you're in the supermarket. You're looking at the beauty of how things are organized well. You're looking at cute snacks or instant noodles, fancy looking utensils or various sheet masks. You're going through every corridor and every section but that's it. You're not going to buy anything. You're just admiring them. You even forget what you really need to buy. You even forget who you are going to the supermarket with and separate absently. Sometimes you lose track of time when you're looking at everyone else's lives because they are so perfect and beautiful to see. You're going through every person and every stories but that's it. You're not going to take any lessons for yourself to grow. You're just admiring them, and be jealous sometimes, or regretting your choices before. Y...