Bayang-Bayang

Tenggat waktu. Aku mendorong terbuka laptop di atas meja. Sekelebat wajahku tertangkap, berbayang di layar laptop yang gelap. Bayang-bayang wajah yang akhirnya terlihat setelah dua bulan lamanya aku menolak bercermin, sengaja atau tidak sengaja. ⁣
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Butuh waktu cukup lama bagi Zasya untuk memulihkan kembali rasanya hidup dengan tenang. Perang dengan dirinya sendiri sejak peristiwa itu begitu mencekam, mencengkram kejernihan berpikir, mengaburkan logika. Gelap gulita, sempit, menyesakkan. Bayang-bayang terus merenggut cercah senyum seperti dementor yang mampir ke tempat duduk Harry di dalam kereta. Disedot habis.⁣
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Sekelebat pantulan wajah di layar gelap laptop memberi makna berbeda saat ini. Wajah yang minta dicintai kembali oleh pemiliknya. Diri yang minta direngkuh kembali oleh pengampunya. ⁣
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Aku segera menyalakan laptop, menghilangkan bayang wajah menjadi halaman log in. Menopang dagu, memandang lurus ke arah monitor, mematung. Memutar ulang memori, tapi dengan rasa yang lebih hangat. Ah, hidup yang penuh kejutan. Bahkan layar laptop bisa menjadi jalan kejutan hidup kali ini.⁣
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Aku harus segera menyelesaikan tugas ini supaya diriku senang. Aku harus sesegera mungkin memeluk diriku lagi.⁣
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Tunggu, bukannya tidak harus menunggu tugasku selesai ya? Sekarang juga bisa, kan?⁣
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Ditulis sebagai bentuk partisipasi dalam 30 Hari Bercerita tahun 2019. #30HariBercerita #30HBC1905

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